Contradictions

Life is so very full of contradictions that it should come to all of our surprise that we do not observe them more often. Yet, they are there. The problem is that the pairs of observations that would make up contradictions are so obscure, so vastly set apart in our overall take on life that it is sometimes hard to put them together.

It was not too long ago that we used to hear of how China was having trouble with their dwindling panda bear population. Well, it still has that problem now, but what with Tibet and the 2008 Olympics looming ahead, that problem has receded to the background.

I remember the news broadcast. It was on ntv7 I think. There was a grim-faced Chinese spokesperson, wearing horn-rimmed glasses and pantsuit, staring off-camera at some figure, interviewer perhaps. She was speaking Mandarin in a deliberate tone, while subtitles appeared below her chest, describing in rather dramatic sentences how the panda bears were being poached for their meat, skin or whatever, and sold across the globe, and appealed for the international conscience to put a stop to this trend, lest the WWF lost a mascot and change their merchandising profile.

When I saw that piece of news, a rather nasty thought came quickly to my mind. I also remember thinking that if I were a foreigner, perhaps a Caucasian, I would definitely be in an appropriate place to say it aloud, but alas, I was, and forever will be, a squinty eyed Chinese boy.

But, if I were indeed born with bluer eyes, this is what I would have gladly said to that Communist :-

Yes, we will start saving the panda bears, the minute you guys stop drinking shark-fin soup.

I mean, we Chinese people eat EVERYTHING that moves, man. It is not just a offhand remark passed down from generation to generation. If its back faces the heavens, we will eat it. You give a cow to a person of any other race, he would probably drink its milk, cut it up for meat or peel its skin off for leather ( hopefully all those done in that order).

But a Chinese person would go a few steps further. The eyeballs and brains would make excellent herbs, the intestines an interesting addition to beef noodles, etc etc.

I remember watching a show on TV once about snakes. It was set in Florida, where there is an abundance of snakes. A lot of people often found snakes suddenly appearing in their homes. They don’t usually knock before entering. The TV show went something like this :-

1) Person suddenly finds a snake in the house

2) Miraculously, a camera crew happens to be in the house.

3) Instead of helping, the camera crew just films the house owner dialing 911 in panic

4) When the call is finished, the house owner looks at the camera, clearly in distraught, says something profound, like “Oh God I hope they get here soon”

5) Commercial break

6) Now, a rough, rugged sort of man who shaves once every lifetime, wearing thick boots and speaking in a Southern accent is introduced as a “Snake catcher”

7) Mr. Snake Catcher tries to catch the snake.

8) He almost catches the snake. .

9) Commercial break

10) He catches the snake. The day is saved.

Now I can’t help but thinking that the whole show would be more efficient if they just sent in a regular Chinese man. He would go in there so fast, the camera crew wouldn’t reach the house in time. And I can picture him catching the snake without so much a hint of fear, grabbing it by the tail and kung-fu chop the snake senseless. Then he would proceed to ask the house owner if he could use some pots and pans for a while. And by the way, did he have Oyster sauce?

Speaking of animals, I recently went to Seaworld in Gold Coast, Australia. It is a marine theme park with lots of animal showcases and it was generally a very fun day. My girlfriend and I saw the dugong, polar bears up close, sharks swimming underwater, dolphin performances, sea lions, and may more.

They also had a giant underground aquarium where we could see exotic fishes swimming about. Of course, there were some Chinese tourists looking at them while rubbing their tummies, drooling out of the corners of their mouths, never taking their bulging eyes off the bigger fishes.

What’s neat about this theme park that it also educated the public on the plight of the animals it showcased, many of them extinct. There were posters showing how marine life is threatened, and how uncontrolled sea mining and pollution were destroying the marine life. There was one poster in particular that showed how unregulated big scale fishing was dimishing the population of fishes.

Next door at the Seaworld restaurant, they served fish n chips for just 9. 95 AUD.

The Year 2028 (Part One)

The Year 2028 – Part One.

It is now the year 2028, and these are the terms and limits in which our country Malaysia, in all her glory and eminence, has come to be defined. Through the combined and collective efforts of all citizens, conscious or unconscious, direct or indirect, spanning the entire socioeconomic hierarchy, a summary of the status of our nation is as follows : -

Education

The Brain Drain phenomenon has reached both a peak and plateau. The highest number possible of qualified professionals have migrated overseas. Statistics claim only 25% of qualified professionals above the age of 30 are staying in the government sector. This goes in hand with an exodus of post-SPM students leaving the country to pursue tertiary education overseas, most notably the UK, USA, Australia, Singapore, China, Taiwan and Japan and Germany.

Said countries have changed policies to make it difficult for international professionals and graduates to pursue work opportunities, due to the backlash of their native workforce, unanimously forcing affirmative action in favour of their citizens

This has not deterred Malaysians from seeking employment overseas.

Reasons for the Brain Drain have been summarized into two main issues – insufficient compensation and lack of avenues for career advancement.

All subjects in all secondary schools and tertiary institutions are now taught in English, with the exception of Bahasa Malaysia, which remains the official and national language.

Technology

Malaysia, like the rest of the world, has gone 90% wireless in its Internet service. Personal users only need a wireless compatible laptop to access the Internet via the MEASAT-5 satellite. Only rural areas require the older method of fibre optics.

Globally, Internet service is now free, subsidized by all governments.

Entertainment has entered a new era.A result of the digital push pioneered by agents such as TiVO, HD television and even faster Net access, every song,movie, television show, pay-per-view are now available for downloading simultaneously with their official release.

Embraced by the industry’s major movers and shakers, downloading content for private use has become legal in all countries. This movement was spearheaded by Sony and Universal Studios which publicly revealed that their annual gross profits have fallen by 60% over the last 15 years. The move to embrace and regulate private downloading of content will at least stabilize their profit margins for the years to come.

All websites offering torrents are regulated and controlled, and the days of free downloads have been long gone 5 years ago. Peer-to-peer file sharing networks have long ceased to operate, with the last being SymbioZone, a company formed in 2015. It lasted 2 years. Every single piece of trademarked intellectual property like movies and songs are now subject to payment via the WiPay system ( see Economy)

Tangible methods of data storage like DVDs, USB-flash disks have been replaced by almost instantaneous file transfer from any location in the world, via wireless Internet access.

Downloading times are now non-existent.

The increase in Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games ( MMORPG) has seen the emergence of a new career, that being the Professional Online Gamer. In the past, this has been practiced, but only recognized as a taxable profession by the Malaysian government in 2023. In World of Warcraft 8 : Armageddon, professional players log on and play as characters that can be ‘hired’ like infantrymen, healers,scouts, administrators, coordinators, and provide other services for a fee to be paid by commercial, non-professional customers/gamers.

Social

The rate of homosexuality is now at 25%.Homosexuality has become a non-issue and the public has accepted in as part of a new, emerging lifestyle.

As a part of the non-discriminatory policy towards all citizens, all homosexual individuals now share equal rights, welfare and recognition. All major religions have accepted homosexuality.

The institution of family is practiced in a quarter of the population. The definition of ‘Family’ is as follows : - A social unit which makes up a bigger social unit called a ‘community’, which consists of a pair of parents ( a mother and father) in a mutually agreeable marriage AND biological offspring(if any) all living together in a single address, provided that the offspring are below the age of 18 or an age where tertiary education is possible.

Factors contributing to this practice being obsolete is as follows –

a) Female empowerment and feminist movements have encouraged women to carve their own careers and to exist on their own merits. Therefore, 8 out of 10 women are contented to remain uncommitted to a marriage and 6 out of 10 are happy to remain single.

b)Even in cases of marriage, both husband and wife are fully dedicated to their careers and thus unable to find time to bear offspring.

c)Divorce rates has now increased up to 85%.Almost all marriages which took place from 2010 to 2020 has resulted in divorce.Only 1 % of registered couples aged 50 and above are reported to be living in the same house.

d)With the high cost of education, more and more couples are predisposed towards saving up for a comfortable retirement, than to work almost more than half of their lifetime to pay off their children’s education. Out of all the married couples, only 57% plan to have children.

e) The acceptance of homosexuality.

In accordance to the above, sperm donation and adoption industries have bloomed in Malaysia. Public listed companies are now blue-chips in the stock market.

In all government forms, under the section of ‘Race’ or ‘Bangsa’, there is now a new category from which to choose form, named ‘Mixed’ or ‘Kacukan’. This is in following with the latest census in 2026 in which the government realized that almost one fifth of the population was of mixed parentage, individuals with both Indian and Chinese blood being the highest. The practice of recognizing a mixed parentage individual’s race upon the race of the father has long ceased.

English, Tamil and Mandarin versions of Negaraku were created 4 years ago. At any time in which the organizer of an event chooses to have the Negaraku sung in English, Tamil or Mandarin, it must come after the Malay version has been sung.

…to be continued

Signs and symptoms that you are taking Medicine too seriously

1) Whenever you hold your girlfriend/boyfriend’s hands on a romantic date,you can’t help but check for clubbing,splinter haemorrhages,temperature,pulse rate,etc etc.Also,before you kiss,you check for central cyanosis,dentition and hydration status

2) You diagnose the Simpsons with familial jaundice

3) You have a ‘favourite spot’ in the library, and whenever someone else happens to sit in ‘your’ spot when you get to the library, you feel like politely impaling him with a nearby chair.

4) Picking up Kumar and Clark with one hand is easy business and your biceps are roughly the same size as that book

5) Incidentally, picking up books comprise of 50% of the physical exercise that you do. The other 50 % is putting them down.

6) When your girlfriend puts on a sexy new dress and asks you how she looks, you respond, “Upon general inspection, you look comfortable and gorgeous; and there are no signs of abnormal pigmentation or fats bulging out at inappropriate places. I would now like to proceed with palpation”.

7) Your social life consists of calling up your mother and telling her why you don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

8) You look down on Arts students.

9) All the ward sisters are sick of you.

10) All the patients you auscultate have permanent indentations where you put your stethoscope for half an hour without moving because you “want to indentify the heart sound”, which your patient soon develops, regardless of whether he had cardiovascular problems or not.

11) When buying watermelons, you check the quality through percussion.

12) You have recently become very religious, and your daily ritual includes worship of the Son of (just leave out the son of and keep it to the one true God?) the one true God, Prof. Peter Lee.

13) You have cut down on unnecessary activities like bathing and toilet visits to have more time to study.

14) You get an allergic reaction which includes and are not limited to : - fits, shock, rashes and blackouts when at the end of a lecture, you forget to ask the lecturer questions.

15) You plan to stop reading halfway through this list to go study.

16) And never plan to come back and finish this list after you finish studying

17) Because you will never stop studying

18) You sleep with your lab coat on to save time changing into it for your hospital session the next morning.

19) You sleep for only 2 hours a day.

20) You sleep at the hospital.

21) When your car breaks down, instead of popping up the hood and staring at it aimlessly like most normal people, you write down a list of differentials on what may have caused the malfunction, examine the car to the best of your ability and present your findings in a condensed, precise 5 minute presentation complete with the investigations you deem appropriate and a brief discussion on management to the arriving mechanic.

22) You actually understand half the jokes on this list.

23) Your understanding of current affairs include the impending war on Iraq, the recent general elections where Barisan Nasional wrested the control of Terrenganu, the tsunami which devastated South East Asia and the sizzling new celebrity romance involving Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

24) You wonder how Wolverine’s body doesn’t develop an inflammatory process against his adamantium skeleton, which is obviously a foreign body.

25) While reading through this list, you cannot help but write down T for true or F for false in pencil beside each sentence. Subsequently,at the end of this list, you are disappointed that there are no answers for which you can compare with, and therefore unable to determine your marks.

A Period of War

Since the time before history,there has been a war waged upon our Earth,ravaging the very foundations of human life.Stricken with battle after battle,the people of today have long wondered why this war still goes on and important still,when will it end,if ever?This war is fought in a myriad of ways,the air of battle permeating every nook and cranny of life,from the mundane to the extravagant.Each and every individual has been doomed to from birth to death.This is the battle that you and I fight every single day : -
The battle of the sexes
That’s right.The battle between dudes and dudettes.Guys take on the gals.The studs against the chicks.Ladies challenging the gentlemen.Adam vs Eve and everything in between.This war started a long long time ago,and will not end until the ladies realize that IT IS TIME TO CHILL OUT AND GIVE US A BREAK MAN!!
Okay that may not have been the most mature approach,but you have to forgive the lamentations of a battle-hardened vet.Them females are hardy soldiers,you can bet your machismo on that.The thing is,God may have made us equal,yada yada yada and all that jazz,but till today,we have failed to really neutralize their strongest advantage known to mankind yet.
I am not talking about the self imposed chivalry we dudes have to deal with.That’s cos deep deep down inside,we all kinda like doing it.Like offering lifts to the ladies at night,helping them with their bags,opening doors for them,doing cute little favours like sharpening pencils,bringing tiny bits of food for their snacking pleasure,favours that if performed for other male friends will result in abandonment due to irreconcilable differences,with differences meaning that you are gay and your dude friends aren’t.So chivalry is kinda OKAY,like how an SPM student not getting all A1s is kinda OKAY,or how not having a date to the prom is kinda OKAY, or how French kissing in public is kinda OKAY.No no,their advantage is much more precise,merciless and cunning.
Their periods.Yes,I said it.That time of the month where the scales tip in favour of those without the Y chromosome.It is God given and it strikes down hard,fast and mercilessly ( on the men,I mean).Yes,I know by now the Bio students will be screaming the obvious : It affects women,not men.But that will probably be drowned out by all the men screaming : THIS DUDE IS A GENIUS!
Picture this,you are with a group of friends at the nearest mamak.Everyone is having a good time,especially the mamak operator.Suddenly,a friendly argument ensues,one which you are heatedly involved in,with topics ranging from the mundane“The Backstreet Boys are Gay” to the highly intellectual “It is okay to date your best friend’s ex” to the absurd “Women need to shop for more than 8000 hours for a pair of jeans”.I mean,what the hell?WOMEN DO NOT NEED TO SHOP IN A MALL LONGER THAN IT TOOK TO BUILD THE DAMN THING!
Whoa,unintentional sidetrack there.Anyway,so the group is having a fine time,with witty banter flowing back and forth.Suddenly,a girl says Something Really Really Offensive like “ ....you are only saying they are gay cos they have millions and are much better looking than you”.Then you begin to sulk and feel Very Very Hurt by this remark,and begin to rationalize that the retort was not a fair one and uncalled for.Using logic and charm,you painstakingly Build Your Arguments,and slowly,one by one,your other companions begin to See Your Point.Then,just as you thought you won the argument, she makes the Most Effective Comeback, “ I’m sorry,it’s just that I’m having/I had/ I will have my period.”.
All your arguments and logic come crumbling down like Arroyo’s approval ratings.No matter how suave you were up till that point,through No Fault On Your Part,you have been successfully demoted to the social attractiveness of a toilet bowl.You have become a Very Very Insensitive Jerk.How could you argue at such length and depth with a girl who is CLEARLY in pain and discomfort?Didn’t your parents teach you never to make a period-ing girl defend her opinions and statements?And OF COURSE you are only saying that because you are Poorer and Uglier than the Backstreet Boys,so why are you so prissy that you have to argue with that poor girl?
So that’s my opinion about the whole period thing.It sucks,but hey,we are chivalrous little dudes,so we clench our fists,grit our teeth,square our shoulders and go off bitching about it to our other dudes and write about them in our blogs.Of course,some of us may feel that its unfair we guys don’t have like a rock solid excuse to be moody,prissy or winning arguments with.We only have but a mere shadow of the power the period exudes,and that’s during the English Premiership League,when matches involving any permutation of Arsenal,Liverpool,Manchester United and Chelsea take place.So the ultimatum-slash-conclusion is,until we can find a cure for that damn thing,the war will go on in a lopsided kinda way every once a month,period.
But that's kinda OKAY for me.

Let's talk about online profiles

Let’s talk about MSN Messenger for a bit. Everyone these days have MSN Messenger. It is one those wonderful new modern inventions which has given us, via the Internet, a whole new way of ignoring each other.

How MSN works really baffles me. You get on your computer, start it up, wait for it to finish loading Windows, double click on that MSN icon, then type in your password, wait for it to successfully connect, and once that happens, completely ignore or forget the fact that you are on MSN Messenger. Surf the Web? Sure, no problem. Check your email? Go for it. But do not, whatever you do, respond to any messages popping up on MSN Messenger.

What is the logic behind that? Do we go to parties, all dressed to the nines, with drink in hand, just wandering around the guests, and when people try to talk to you, you just say, “Oh please don’t talk to me, I am away.”

Why are we always AWAY on MSN?

What’s the point of even showing up online in MSN?

I know what some of you will say, “Oh I just leave myself online in case someone has to leave me a message.”

Okay now, whippersnapper, there are two flaws to that theory.

1) How important can the message be, when that person leaves you that message while you’re AWAY? For all that person knows, you ain’t even in the same room. How irresponsible is that?

If you know someone is not at home, will you still knock on his door to tell him that his girlfriend is cheating on him?

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
“Hey uh, JIM? I know you’re not at home right now. I just uh.. wanna let you know that I’m having sex with your girlfriend.”

To me, a message left on MSN tells you a couple of things about the person passing on the message. He is not interested in: -

a) Your part of the conversation,
b) Looking at you or,
c) Hearing your voice.

Suddenly, that person has forgotten that he has a handphone. It is not acceptable for someone to pass along an important message via MSN while the recipient is AWAY, which will probably be read too late, unless of course the person giving the message is stranded in a desert, marooned on an island or trapped in the boot of a car, in which case he won’t have Internet access either, thus making it a moot point.


And, seeing as you are AWAY, how will you know an important message has come in? What are the ramifications of you not getting that message?

“Hey dude, you going to Allison’s All-Bikini party later?”

“What? I didn’t know about that! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did, I left you a message on MSN”

“Yeah, but I was AWAY wasn’t I?”

“But you were, technically online, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, but still, AWAY!”

“So you weren’t online?”

“No I was, but…”

“So you’re saying to me you were stuck in limbo between being online and not?”

“No, what I’m saying is, that while I was online, I was in a situation where it would have been just the same as not being online.”

“Then why were you online?”

“Look I don’t know how to answer th-”

“Alright, I gotta go now! My camera’s memory card is in for a longggg night.”

“You’re going without me?”

“It’s an ALL – BIKINI party! Don’t worry, I will let you know all about it later alright?”

“Yeah. Just leave me a message on MSN.”

Thus, we come to the conclusion that you can’t justifiably get pissed at not getting messages left on MSN for you while you are AWAY. It won’t hold up in court, your friend will just laugh in your face, and you will look like an idiot.

Now we come to the second flaw to the theory which of course, is --

2) Who will be sending you messages on MSN when we know that everyone else is AWAY, waiting for people to send them messages?

That’s all for today.

My Warped World

You stand alone, horrified at the scene of depravity that plays out before your eyes. Every breath you take you smells the scent of fear and sadness that permeates the air. You close your eyes but yet cannot block out the cries of those who weep and gnash their teeth. With fumbling steps, you try to make your way out of that wretched abyss, but alas, it’s too late, for a monster has locked you in its gaze, and now makes its way towards you, ready to ask you about differential diagnoses and critique your history-taking techniques.

Welcome to the hospital wards.

We are finally exposed to clinical medicine, the nitty-gritty, down and dirty stuff. An integral part of our real-life education are ward teaching sessions, which have opened up my eyes to the realistic setting of medicine, widened my horizons, lowered my self-esteem to the point of self-loathing and humbled me to such a degree that I don’t feel qualified to look down on beggars, criminals and Arts students anymore. This is all thanks to some of the wonderful teaching staff that through the years of torturing prisoners of war, have honed the unique Art Of Goreng.

The AOG is the ability to make anyone of average intelligence to feel as if they were denied half a brain during their embryological development and subsequently attempt suicide, which inevitably fails because all sense of awareness would have been lost after mutiple goreng sessions and students tend to fail at slashing the right part of the wrist or choosing the right type of song, like Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend. An error punishable by goreng would be if a student was unable to, for example, distinguish an enlarged parotid gland from a scrotal swelling.

A particular specialist of the AOG is a lecturer who shall be named in this article as Mr. X, a tall, dark and fearsome looking man. His cold, lifeless eyes penetrate the thickest of walls and egos, his pupils reflecting the fiery glow from the flames that he has for a moustache. Where he walks, those brave enough to remain are reduced to whispers of terror, while those smart enough to run away, never to return.

My very first teaching session was with Mr. X on a gloomy Monday morning, a day when the sun refused to shine. Mr. X likes to start his day early and as a result we were there at 7. 30am, a time that I never knew existed. Somehow, we ended up on the subject of right iliac fossa pain.

“So, what’s the differential diagnoses for right iliac fossa?” asked Mr. X, as he slowly stroked his tie, the source of all his powers. The fear and the heat from his Fiery Moustache made us sweat.

Immediately remembering my hastily read paragraph in Talley and O’Connor, I blurted out, “Appendicitis!”

“Okay, and what are the causes of appendicitis?” asked Mr. X again, this time letting his tie hang loose, a sign that he is relaxed.

This was entering dangerous territory. I tried to stall for time. “Inflammation!” I cried.

“I KNOW it’s inflammation, don’t try and stall for time!” roared Mr. X, as he looked around my group members, stroking his tie with renewed vigour. My group members, showing deep loyalty as medical students, laughed at me. My good friend Chris, who is eternally superior in brainpower, shook his head sadly at me.

I began to panic. It can read my mind!” Uh… uh… is it due to a faecolith trapped in the appendix?” That was it, the tank was by now truly empty. I looked to my other groupmates in desperation. Chris knotted his eyebrows, estimating how much better he would fare if he were asked that question.

Mr. X looked at me as one would look at a dog with rabies, and stopped stroking his tie. He smelt blood. “Okay, but what is the MOST COMMON CAUSE OF APPENDICITIS?” The room shook.

Blank.

“C’MON NOW, DON”T…WASTE… MY…TIME!” he roared with the intensity of a ship’s foghorn. In the adjacent ward, seven people died. Half my group members defecated on the spot.

I looked at Chris. He did not return my gaze. He looked very sad and disappointed, like he was at a funeral.

“My goodness, your basic pathology is atrocious! Fine, let’s forget about the appendix. What are the other differentials for pain in the right iliac fossa?” By now he was tugging at his tie, which is probably the reason his face became purple-red.

Still blank.

“So right iliac fossa pain is ONLY indicative of appendicitis, is it? The one and only organ in the right iliac fossa is the appendix and nothing else, is it? No nearby intestines, stomach, fallopian tubes, nothing of that sort, yes?

At this stage, I myself began to develop acute appendicitis. For some strange reason, Chris began stroking his tie.

“You’re as useless as a psychiatrist. Okay, you!” Mr. X pointed to Chris, “Prove to me that you are all not idiots!”

Chris smiled in delight as if he was appointed the new owner of the Playboy Mansion, and began a long monologue lasting for almost 10 minutes on the wonderful pathology of appendicitis, the aetiology, clinical features, investigations and management and then continued with a comprehensive list of the causes of right iliac fossa pain. When he finished, the people who died in the adjacent ward came back to life, awed by the brilliance of his delivery and the whole room erupted into a standing ovation, with the exception of Mr. X, who remained seated and looked down at his tie and said, “Okay, fine.”

After a goreng session, students feel thoroughly drained, like being raped, but on an intellectual level You feel scarred, alone, worthless and contaminated. But yet, we must persevere and stand firm against the tyranny of humiliation and degradation! We must draw the line here, and no further! I call upon all my fellow students to unite for our dignity and pride!

Everyone that is, except Chris.

My Inspirations

Many people have asked me, “Jason, what are your influences in writing?” Of course, that is a lie. NO ONE has ever asked me that. I am not famous enough yet. But still, let us assume that I have commanded enough fame and fortune for the curious fan or two to ask me, “Jason, what are your influences in writing?”

Well, firstly I have to say that when I write something, it’s usually with a sense of humour. I am relatively new at writing funny stuff, and I think I have yet to find my comedic voice, as that takes time and practice, but a lot of it is based on humourous writers, stand-up comedians and sitcoms.

One of my all time favourites is Dave Barry. I have read almost all his columns online and read two of his books. He is a tremendously funny guy. His observational skill is top notch and he has won a few Pulitzer Prizes for journalism. He makes fun of everything, from toilet bowls to politicians. I would love to show you how funny he is by analyzing his work, but its best if you just go to his website.

Stand-up comedians are another source of inspiration. They made me realize that the funniest jokes come from the best truths, and vice versa. Good comedians are the ones that make you go, “Hey yeah, how come I never saw it that way?” the moment they deliver the punch line. Again, it’s all about observation, how they critique the trivialities of human life, how they satirize our nuances, how they try to rationalize the inexplicable. My favourites? In no particular order: Ricky Gervais, Russell Peters, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Dara O’Brian and many more.

My goal is to one day reach the pinnacles of my idols’ success. Or get rich trying. Every dream has to start somewhere right? I mean, to make people laugh and get paid for it, I think that’s my ultimate dream. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud to be a Medical Student. I have worked hard to be a good medical student. But I sometimes wonder, if I had put in all the effort and time and resources into pursuing a career in comedy, where would I be now?