Comment on Comments

Dear friends,

An alert reader of this blog has told me that only people with google accounts or some other type of account linked with Blogger can leave their comments.

Thus, i have changed the setting to enable anyone to leave comments. I am just seeing how long will it take for comments that include 'penis enlargement' , 'online gambling' and 'fake watches' to appear on the comments!

Cheers,

Jason Leong

Irish Embassy Address!

AMBASÁID NA hÉIREANN
EMBASSY OF IRELAND
IRELAND HOUSE
THE AMP WALK
218 JALAN AMPANG
50450 KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA
kualalumpurembassy@dfa.ie
TEL : + 603 2161 2963
FAX : + 603 2161 3427

Some updates!

Dear friends,

I am getting very nervous as the press conference/book launch looms closer! Also very excited to meet the Irish Ambassador, Mr. Eugene Hutchinson.

Also, I have been slotted to appear on TV 2's breakfast show, 'Hello on 2' at 8.00am on Tuesday, June 17th! So if any of you are on MC, ponteng class or not working, do tune in!

Lastly, have just added a chat function to this blog. Have fun!

Cheers,

Jason Leong

More Fuel Price Hike Fun! (1)

Fuel Increase

There has been much anger at the recent decision to raise the price of fuel. As an entertainment piece, this blog will remain apolitical. However, this new development could possibly a defining moment in Malaysia’s history, in sync with that of the world. Will the Digital Age be superseded by a Scorched Era, where the price of fuel becomes so high, nobody can afford to live anymore?

Of course, I am an eternal optimist. Here I will present the brighter side of the fuel price increase.

1) Car thefts will drop to almost zero. No self-respecting thief will rob something that will cost him to lose money. I predict that in the future, car thieves will approach big guzzlers like Mercs and Harriers, break the windscreen and just leave some money on the dashboard to save time.

2) Malaysia will no longer be a nation of obese people, as people won’t be able to
afford food. Also, now everyone will have to walk or cycle to work, increasing exercise time. A healthy Malaysia is a wealthy Malaysia.

3) We will all be forced to be ‘greener’ in our approach to life-style changes. I advocate not just writing on both sides of the sheet of paper, but on the edges as well.

4) Our creativity will grow by leaps and bounds, especially at trying to save more fuel. Current reported attempts have included calling a tow truck to tow your car to work with you sitting in it, as it was thought to be cheaper than actually pumping petrol in your car and then driving it.

5) No longer will we hear of road rage, because nobody can even afford a car.

6) Additionally, with less cars on the road, there will be less traffic offences, thus police officers will have more time on their hands to tackle more important crimes.

7) No longer will government doctors be overworked, as hospitals can only open 12-hours a day, thanks to electricity tariffs increasing. This means more alert and well rested doctors to tackle patients’ problems.

8) We can finally laugh at those rich people who bought LARGE SUVs.

9) The problem of illegal immigration will be solved INSTANTANEOUSLY. No one will dare step foot on our country, since it will make them poorer than they already are.

10) Mamak stalls will no longer be able to operate 24 hours per day, thus curbing the ‘lepak culture’.

11) In the same vein as No. 9, Malaysia will never have war waged against her as no nation can afford the expensive fuel to maintain their tanks, airplanes,etc when they invade us.

12) The incidence of burglaries and robberies of homes and banks will decrease, as it will be much easier and profitable to hold up the pump attendant and siphon off petrol at petrol stations.

13) If the price of oil spikes further, even the number of motorcyclists will decrease, and that means NO MORE MAT REMPITS!!!

14) Traffic jams will be absolutely hilarious, as they will last up to months. This is because when people are stuck in a jam, they become very kiasu and switch off their engines to save petrol, and wait for the first sign the cars in front will move, then and only then will they turn on their own engines. What happens of course, is that EVERYONE is doing the same thing, waiting for each other to move.

15) The phrase “ Do I look like I’m made of money?”, will now be replaced by “ Do I look like I’m made of petrol?”, which at least sounds hilarious.

16) More students will study in local universities instead of foreign universities because a flight ticket to anywhere beyond Singapore requires a mortgage or loan shark.

17) Local travel agents will experience a boon in business. International airlines can only afford to fuel up half a tank for every flight. The strategy will be to fly halfway, then crashland in the ocean, and wish all passengers the very best of luck, and hope to see them onboard again. Thanks for flying!

18) Less land will be used to build cemeteries, freeing up land for housing and development projects, as the trend of the future when one dies is to be decomposed and then used as alternative biomass fuel, enough to power a Proton Wira for a week, saving approximately enough money to buy a house.

19) The rate of fires started by arsonists will be decreased, due to high prices of an arsonist’s arsenal, which includes petrol, kerosene and other flammable sources.

20) Who thinks the phrase ‘arsonist’s arsenal’ will make a good name for a blog or rock band?

21) Cigarette smoking will cease amongst all Malaysians. Sooner or later, even kerosene for the Zippo Lighters will be too expensive. The incidence of respiratory and cardiac disease will decrease dramatically.

22) Open air burning will be a thing of the past.


23) For the 2012 Olympics, Malaysia will definitely win the gold medal for sprinting and long distance running events, as running will be the main mode of transportation from now on.


Here I will end with an anecdote. Yesterday I saw an Ah Beng pushing a Proton Iswara along the road. He was wearing a formal shirt and a tie complete with slacks. The poor dude was soaked with sweat. I wound down my window and asked him if he needed help.

“ It’s okay, my car is not spoiled! I just want to save money, so I decided to push the car instead of turning on the engine. Petrol price so expensive!”, said the Ah Beng.

I was dumbounded. It took me several moments to process what he actually meant. Then I asked, “ Why don’t you walk instead?’, fearing that my question made too much sense for him.

“Aiyoh, my company place got free parking mah!”,he replied.

That’s it for today! Till then, my dear Malaysian friends, keep your chin up, and square your shoulders. Every generation has it challenges. Our parents dealt with the fight for independence, the communist insurgency and many more. This is our challenge, and may we all persevere and prevail!


P/s- Of course the story about the Ah Beng pushing his car wasn’t true. But at least you laughed.

Pres Conference / Book Launch!

Dear friends,

Sorry I haven't been updating the blog as frequently as before. I do have some exciting news to report! The good folks at Marshall Cavendish has secured a date for a Press Conference/ Book Launch for The Twisted Stethoscope.

Venue : Irish Embassy
Date: 16th June
Time : 11.00am
VIP : Irish Ambassador, Mr. Eugene Hutchinson

For the past few days things have been moving fast. Recently I have managed to personally hand over a copy to the Deputy Health Minister, Datuk Dr. Hj. Abdul Latif b. Ahmad . He seemed rather please with it! Also, efforts are being made to post a copy to the Director General of Health, YB Tan Sri Dr. Ismail Merican, (who I emailed last week) as well as the Deputy Minister of Higher Education.

The President of Penang Medical College, Mr. Brendan Lyons has also been very helpful. He is trying to send two copies of the book to newspapers in Ireland. Hopefully, this will be the start of sales in Dublin, my second home for two years.Oh, how the heart aches...

Special thanks goes to: Christine, Leowania, Cassy,Suhana,Jin Jin and Mr. Brendan!

Most importantly : to all you guys for expressing your support. Keep reading this blog, I promise a new post tommorow!

-Jason Leong

Why I don't drive well.

Many people have asked me, “Jason, why does your driving skill suck so much?” Here’s the answer. -My dad was a real badass. Of course I don’t mean ‘badass’ as in kill babies and burn down churches kind of ‘badass’. The ‘badass’ persona that my father possessed was even more terrifying. When he cracked the whip around the house, entire continents would shift, creating massive earthquakes. And I am not using ‘crack the whip’ as a figure of speech. My dad uses the whip with such force that cracks appear on the whip itself.

One of the more fiery elements in our loving father and son relationship was The Car. Oh yes, it was The Car. Sure, it was just a Proton Waja but at that time I was at a tender age of 18, armed and ready with freshly bribed driver’s license and the need for speed. When he did hand over the car keys, his expression was similar to a mother who had just given birth and now handing over her baby to a paedophilic gangster .

But the exhilarating feeling of an engine at the command of my deft manual gear-shifting skills and my foot on the accelerator pedal was second to none. Under my expert guidance, our Proton Waja becomes a Ferrari, zooming down highways with rock music blaring, adrenaline pumping all ove-

RRRRRRINGGGGGG! , screamed my handphone.

I glanced at the screen, while at the very extreme end of my vision, I keep an eye on the road. The screen says “Daddy is Calling”.

Immediately my bowels suddenly became very nervous and out of nowhere, my bladder threatened to give up. I’ve been out driving the car too long! I should have been home by 10. 00pm! A quick glance revealed the time to be …. 1. 00am, which is probably the last time on Earth I get to see 1. 00am.

With an immense sense of trepidation and impending bladder failure, I answer the call. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”, boomed an otherworldly voice. In the background, I can vaguely hear the sounds of weeping and gnashing of teeth. “I er…ah…gulp…I am on the Federal High-“

“ON THE FEDERAL HIGHWAY? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”
At the back of my mind, I begin to worry slightly that my father, having dialed my number, failed to recognize that I am his son. “Er…ah I was just about to come home”, I said, while grimacing and contorting my face, the key step to keep my nervous bowels from exploding.
“YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOME 3 HOURS AGO! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU NOW?”. By now I could clearly discern the distinct sound of a shotgun being reloaded. “Er…I ah…. I am just passing by Mid Valley Megamall now. I will be home as soon as-“

“I GIVE YOU 10 MINUTES TO COME HOME. NOW!”

Upon the call having ended, I immediately press the pedal to the metal, hoping to get home within the stipulated time, pushing The Car to speeds unheard off in mankind. Oh please, anything but the shotgun. I reached home within 9 minutes. At the entrance of the house stood my dad, tall, muscular and brandishing a cracked whip in one hand, a fully loaded shotgun in the other. “I …huff…huff…made it home…huff…in time…-“
This time the volume was not threatening to the ear-drum, the bass had lessened.

“Yes you came home in time. From Mid Valley Megamall, yes?”
“Yes “, said I, not recognizing at all the signs that I had just fell into a craftily set trap.
“Are you telling me you got home from Mid Valley Megamall, a place almost 30 kilometres away in 9 minutes? That you were driving at 180km/h? HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEED?”.

From that day forth, when I drive, my butt never touches the car seat due to permanent tenderness. I just hang my upper body by the sheer strength of my arms clinging on the steering wheel.