Dear friends,
I am BACK, and ready for more posts!!!
Cheers, and do enjoy the new slideshow I am about to put up!!
-The Man
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Religion
People have begun to question not just the existence of God, but by extension the necessity of religion. I believe that people questioning God and religion is important, because the best way to attach credibility to any subject is to attack and debate about it. True? We don’t hear about people attacking and debating about things that are unnecessary, about things that absolutely do not matter in your life. Like for example, the cost of your own funeral, or whether which is better, Maxis or Digi?
But religion, aha, that’s a good subject to talk about. You see, I believe that there is a higher power that we will never understand. I also believe that God is great, and that there are many paths to Him. You see, He has different marketing strategies for different types of people. Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, etc etc. It all leads to the same thing.
The thing about God is though, is that I believe as an almighty being, he is able to take *some* healthy constructive criticism. And although many people believe God has many faults, I would like to touch on one particular weakness of His.
He doesn’t seem to be able to manage money very well.
He always needs money! How come as an omnipotent, all-powerful being, He is always asking us for money? Can’t he produce some for himself, or at the very least, consult one of the top financial experts in the world, and ask for some advice? And why would He ask us? Aren’t we always asking HIM for money? It’s not a struggle of Good over Evil anymore, it has all boiled down to The Great Big Eternal Financial Transaction.
And nowadays, ladies and gentlemen, I notice a new religion emerging in our lives. One that doesn’t need much money.You have all heard about it, and even subscribe to this new religion, perhaps unknowingly of course. I call it Wood-ism. Have you ever seen the following scene : -
Guy A : I hope I will have enough money by the age of 40.
Guy B : Why 40?
Guy A : Because by that time, if I happen to die,or get some kind of cancer, touch wood –
Guy A touches something made of wood, perhaps a table
Guy A : at least my family is well taken care of, you know!
Guy B : Yalah, I also hope I don’t get cancer, or worse, bankrupt!
Guy B also touches the table.
Now this begs the question. What the hell is in wood, that has somehow convinced us it can prevent cancer or bankruptcy? And you know it’s not limited to just those two things. EVERYTHING can be prevented by touching wood. Failing exams? Touch wood. Dying in a car crash? Touch wood. Divorced? Touch wood. Getting sued or sacked? Touch wood. Afraid of getting a splinter? Well…maybe not that one.
What on earth is in wood? I know everyone says God is everywhere, but surely this is a little absurd? Number 1, why don’t we just say touch God and just randomly touch any object, since God is everywhere? And number 2, why wood? Why not, iron, or water, or just for kicks, fire? Hoping your house doesn’t burn down? On your stove and touch the flames. Then your house burning down will be the least of your worries.
What is the guarantee that this so called ‘wood’ will do its job? Let’s say,for argument’s sake, that someone says out loud he hopes he doesn’t get cancer, followed by uttering ‘ touch wood’ and then suiting the action to the word by touching something wooden. Then lets say 10 years later, at a clinic, the doctor says to him, “I am sorry sir, but you have cancer”.
“Cancer? Are you sure?”
“The tests are 100% conclusive. You have cancer.”
“Doc, I don’t think so. I am very confident I CANNOT get cancer”.
“How so?”
* leans forward* “ Well, don’t tell anyone this- “ * looks around for eavesdroppers*
“ - but ten years ago, I touched wood”.
The thing about Wood-ism is that it is so easy. Just touch it and your attempts at avoiding catastrophe is complete. Just touching. No need for prayer, worship, or dragging your buttocks to church, paying your weekly consultation fee, doing good, etc. It makes it seem that God’s application process seems a little too entangled with red tape compared to just touching wood.
What if it gets worse? What if real wood worship starts to really take off? What if fanatics start chaining themselves to trees to be “close to wood”, and start throwing hissy fits whenever people cut down trees to make essential things like paper for schoolkids to write their essays on and for the printing press to make newspapers, magazines and books for education? What if these overzealous people start organizations that champion the worship of wood, and attack companies that use wood to manufacture products for consumers, always pressuring them to plant more and more trees, so that the amount of wood that can be touched to prevent bad things from happening will be increased?
Well, if they do, then I suppose we can respect their opinions. But let’s hope it doesn’t get overboard.
Touch wood.
But religion, aha, that’s a good subject to talk about. You see, I believe that there is a higher power that we will never understand. I also believe that God is great, and that there are many paths to Him. You see, He has different marketing strategies for different types of people. Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, etc etc. It all leads to the same thing.
The thing about God is though, is that I believe as an almighty being, he is able to take *some* healthy constructive criticism. And although many people believe God has many faults, I would like to touch on one particular weakness of His.
He doesn’t seem to be able to manage money very well.
He always needs money! How come as an omnipotent, all-powerful being, He is always asking us for money? Can’t he produce some for himself, or at the very least, consult one of the top financial experts in the world, and ask for some advice? And why would He ask us? Aren’t we always asking HIM for money? It’s not a struggle of Good over Evil anymore, it has all boiled down to The Great Big Eternal Financial Transaction.
And nowadays, ladies and gentlemen, I notice a new religion emerging in our lives. One that doesn’t need much money.You have all heard about it, and even subscribe to this new religion, perhaps unknowingly of course. I call it Wood-ism. Have you ever seen the following scene : -
Guy A : I hope I will have enough money by the age of 40.
Guy B : Why 40?
Guy A : Because by that time, if I happen to die,or get some kind of cancer, touch wood –
Guy A touches something made of wood, perhaps a table
Guy A : at least my family is well taken care of, you know!
Guy B : Yalah, I also hope I don’t get cancer, or worse, bankrupt!
Guy B also touches the table.
Now this begs the question. What the hell is in wood, that has somehow convinced us it can prevent cancer or bankruptcy? And you know it’s not limited to just those two things. EVERYTHING can be prevented by touching wood. Failing exams? Touch wood. Dying in a car crash? Touch wood. Divorced? Touch wood. Getting sued or sacked? Touch wood. Afraid of getting a splinter? Well…maybe not that one.
What on earth is in wood? I know everyone says God is everywhere, but surely this is a little absurd? Number 1, why don’t we just say touch God and just randomly touch any object, since God is everywhere? And number 2, why wood? Why not, iron, or water, or just for kicks, fire? Hoping your house doesn’t burn down? On your stove and touch the flames. Then your house burning down will be the least of your worries.
What is the guarantee that this so called ‘wood’ will do its job? Let’s say,for argument’s sake, that someone says out loud he hopes he doesn’t get cancer, followed by uttering ‘ touch wood’ and then suiting the action to the word by touching something wooden. Then lets say 10 years later, at a clinic, the doctor says to him, “I am sorry sir, but you have cancer”.
“Cancer? Are you sure?”
“The tests are 100% conclusive. You have cancer.”
“Doc, I don’t think so. I am very confident I CANNOT get cancer”.
“How so?”
* leans forward* “ Well, don’t tell anyone this- “ * looks around for eavesdroppers*
“ - but ten years ago, I touched wood”.
The thing about Wood-ism is that it is so easy. Just touch it and your attempts at avoiding catastrophe is complete. Just touching. No need for prayer, worship, or dragging your buttocks to church, paying your weekly consultation fee, doing good, etc. It makes it seem that God’s application process seems a little too entangled with red tape compared to just touching wood.
What if it gets worse? What if real wood worship starts to really take off? What if fanatics start chaining themselves to trees to be “close to wood”, and start throwing hissy fits whenever people cut down trees to make essential things like paper for schoolkids to write their essays on and for the printing press to make newspapers, magazines and books for education? What if these overzealous people start organizations that champion the worship of wood, and attack companies that use wood to manufacture products for consumers, always pressuring them to plant more and more trees, so that the amount of wood that can be touched to prevent bad things from happening will be increased?
Well, if they do, then I suppose we can respect their opinions. But let’s hope it doesn’t get overboard.
Touch wood.
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