Gangsterism

Everyone has a gang. You have a gang. I have a gang. Not the gun-toting, protection-money dependent kinda gangs. I mean your group of close friends. Your own close-knit community. Your bunch of galpals and rude dudes. Your posse. Your gang.

“Hey why are you alone?Where’s your gang?”
“Mom, I’m going out with the gang!”
“ Hey gang, let’s watch that movie together!”

Some gangs may only have 3 or 4 members. Some may be up to 20, depends on how well they tolerate each other. But what I have observed , during the 20 years of my life on Earth, is that all gangs share a similar pattern. Young gangs or old gangs,big gangs or small gangs, college gangs or office gangs, they all share a common pattern.

When it comes to membership, every gang has at least one : -

1) Fat Person that everyone calls Fatty. Or, if your gang is particularly cruel, Slimmy.

2) Hot Girl that almost every guy in the same gang has tried to get it on with, but to their dismay, she ultimately settles for an uglier guy or someone outside the gang

3) Guy of Questionable Sexuality. This is the only one who did not try to get it on with the above Hot Girl.

4) Pervert. This is the master of porn downloads, and has memorized all the Japanese AV Idols.

5) Romeo. The guy who was the FIRST to try it on with the Hot Girl. Always has a girlfriend, much to the disdain of Guy of Questionable Sexuality

6) Kiasu A scorer. Hardly hangs out with the gang, but is kept around for homework help and occasional exam tips. He needs the gang too,to be reminded of how conversation with humans take place.

7) Sad Minority. This is the funniest one. The only Indian in an all Chinese gang or the only Chinese in an all Indian gang, or other various permutations. Usually speaks with the same accent/slang as the majority of the gang. Best person to make fun of.

Now, if you have scanned the list and realized that you don’t have a particular individual in your gang, then you are most definitely that person.

And before I sign off, here’s one more observation when it comes to gangs. EVERY gang has at least 2 factions that sorta dislike each other but sorta still hangs out for the sake of not declaring an all out war, which nobody benefits from and quite frankly, makes everyone look like children.

The main quarrel between the two factions usually boils down to an insignificant incident between two individuals in the gang, which will then lead to them rapidly badmouthing the other to all their supporters, and the result is the splitting of the gang into two. This usually leads to a Gang Cold War lasting a few months, then later both factions will calm down diplomatically and still hang with each other.

I speaks the troof, don’t I?