Contradictions

Life is so very full of contradictions that it should come to all of our surprise that we do not observe them more often. Yet, they are there. The problem is that the pairs of observations that would make up contradictions are so obscure, so vastly set apart in our overall take on life that it is sometimes hard to put them together.

It was not too long ago that we used to hear of how China was having trouble with their dwindling panda bear population. Well, it still has that problem now, but what with Tibet and the 2008 Olympics looming ahead, that problem has receded to the background.

I remember the news broadcast. It was on ntv7 I think. There was a grim-faced Chinese spokesperson, wearing horn-rimmed glasses and pantsuit, staring off-camera at some figure, interviewer perhaps. She was speaking Mandarin in a deliberate tone, while subtitles appeared below her chest, describing in rather dramatic sentences how the panda bears were being poached for their meat, skin or whatever, and sold across the globe, and appealed for the international conscience to put a stop to this trend, lest the WWF lost a mascot and change their merchandising profile.

When I saw that piece of news, a rather nasty thought came quickly to my mind. I also remember thinking that if I were a foreigner, perhaps a Caucasian, I would definitely be in an appropriate place to say it aloud, but alas, I was, and forever will be, a squinty eyed Chinese boy.

But, if I were indeed born with bluer eyes, this is what I would have gladly said to that Communist :-

Yes, we will start saving the panda bears, the minute you guys stop drinking shark-fin soup.

I mean, we Chinese people eat EVERYTHING that moves, man. It is not just a offhand remark passed down from generation to generation. If its back faces the heavens, we will eat it. You give a cow to a person of any other race, he would probably drink its milk, cut it up for meat or peel its skin off for leather ( hopefully all those done in that order).

But a Chinese person would go a few steps further. The eyeballs and brains would make excellent herbs, the intestines an interesting addition to beef noodles, etc etc.

I remember watching a show on TV once about snakes. It was set in Florida, where there is an abundance of snakes. A lot of people often found snakes suddenly appearing in their homes. They don’t usually knock before entering. The TV show went something like this :-

1) Person suddenly finds a snake in the house

2) Miraculously, a camera crew happens to be in the house.

3) Instead of helping, the camera crew just films the house owner dialing 911 in panic

4) When the call is finished, the house owner looks at the camera, clearly in distraught, says something profound, like “Oh God I hope they get here soon”

5) Commercial break

6) Now, a rough, rugged sort of man who shaves once every lifetime, wearing thick boots and speaking in a Southern accent is introduced as a “Snake catcher”

7) Mr. Snake Catcher tries to catch the snake.

8) He almost catches the snake. .

9) Commercial break

10) He catches the snake. The day is saved.

Now I can’t help but thinking that the whole show would be more efficient if they just sent in a regular Chinese man. He would go in there so fast, the camera crew wouldn’t reach the house in time. And I can picture him catching the snake without so much a hint of fear, grabbing it by the tail and kung-fu chop the snake senseless. Then he would proceed to ask the house owner if he could use some pots and pans for a while. And by the way, did he have Oyster sauce?

Speaking of animals, I recently went to Seaworld in Gold Coast, Australia. It is a marine theme park with lots of animal showcases and it was generally a very fun day. My girlfriend and I saw the dugong, polar bears up close, sharks swimming underwater, dolphin performances, sea lions, and may more.

They also had a giant underground aquarium where we could see exotic fishes swimming about. Of course, there were some Chinese tourists looking at them while rubbing their tummies, drooling out of the corners of their mouths, never taking their bulging eyes off the bigger fishes.

What’s neat about this theme park that it also educated the public on the plight of the animals it showcased, many of them extinct. There were posters showing how marine life is threatened, and how uncontrolled sea mining and pollution were destroying the marine life. There was one poster in particular that showed how unregulated big scale fishing was dimishing the population of fishes.

Next door at the Seaworld restaurant, they served fish n chips for just 9. 95 AUD.