Signs and symptoms that you are taking Medicine too seriously

1) Whenever you hold your girlfriend/boyfriend’s hands on a romantic date,you can’t help but check for clubbing,splinter haemorrhages,temperature,pulse rate,etc etc.Also,before you kiss,you check for central cyanosis,dentition and hydration status

2) You diagnose the Simpsons with familial jaundice

3) You have a ‘favourite spot’ in the library, and whenever someone else happens to sit in ‘your’ spot when you get to the library, you feel like politely impaling him with a nearby chair.

4) Picking up Kumar and Clark with one hand is easy business and your biceps are roughly the same size as that book

5) Incidentally, picking up books comprise of 50% of the physical exercise that you do. The other 50 % is putting them down.

6) When your girlfriend puts on a sexy new dress and asks you how she looks, you respond, “Upon general inspection, you look comfortable and gorgeous; and there are no signs of abnormal pigmentation or fats bulging out at inappropriate places. I would now like to proceed with palpation”.

7) Your social life consists of calling up your mother and telling her why you don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend.

8) You look down on Arts students.

9) All the ward sisters are sick of you.

10) All the patients you auscultate have permanent indentations where you put your stethoscope for half an hour without moving because you “want to indentify the heart sound”, which your patient soon develops, regardless of whether he had cardiovascular problems or not.

11) When buying watermelons, you check the quality through percussion.

12) You have recently become very religious, and your daily ritual includes worship of the Son of (just leave out the son of and keep it to the one true God?) the one true God, Prof. Peter Lee.

13) You have cut down on unnecessary activities like bathing and toilet visits to have more time to study.

14) You get an allergic reaction which includes and are not limited to : - fits, shock, rashes and blackouts when at the end of a lecture, you forget to ask the lecturer questions.

15) You plan to stop reading halfway through this list to go study.

16) And never plan to come back and finish this list after you finish studying

17) Because you will never stop studying

18) You sleep with your lab coat on to save time changing into it for your hospital session the next morning.

19) You sleep for only 2 hours a day.

20) You sleep at the hospital.

21) When your car breaks down, instead of popping up the hood and staring at it aimlessly like most normal people, you write down a list of differentials on what may have caused the malfunction, examine the car to the best of your ability and present your findings in a condensed, precise 5 minute presentation complete with the investigations you deem appropriate and a brief discussion on management to the arriving mechanic.

22) You actually understand half the jokes on this list.

23) Your understanding of current affairs include the impending war on Iraq, the recent general elections where Barisan Nasional wrested the control of Terrenganu, the tsunami which devastated South East Asia and the sizzling new celebrity romance involving Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

24) You wonder how Wolverine’s body doesn’t develop an inflammatory process against his adamantium skeleton, which is obviously a foreign body.

25) While reading through this list, you cannot help but write down T for true or F for false in pencil beside each sentence. Subsequently,at the end of this list, you are disappointed that there are no answers for which you can compare with, and therefore unable to determine your marks.